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“67 times I listened to him yell ‘mama’ and bang on the bathroom door while I stood under the hot water drowning in my tears because I couldn’t bear the sound of his voice anymore and I had no will to reply,” wrote Suka Nasrallah (England) on Facebook in an account that many mothers can surely relate to.
We have talked about motherhood before here, explaining to those who don’t know that, while it is a process filled with beauty and commitment, it also has its great share of difficulties and can become very distressing.
That said, we bring you another case of a mother who saw no other option but to resort to social networks to vent to her contacts about how exhausted she is from upbringing and caring for her three children. This in no way means that she doesn’t love them unconditionally, but she does feel like she needs more time exclusively for herself.
Writer Suka Nasrallah lives with her family in Windsor, England, and a few days ago, she shared a raw account on her Facebook profile about how tiring life has been caring for her children in this day and age, despite having a supportive partner.
Suka wrote about the morning one of her children called her 67 times while she was in the shower, causing her despair and anguish at not being able to have not even ten minutes of peace a day. The situation threw her off and, in her own words, she simply could no longer listen to the little boy.
He called for me 67 times while I was in the shower. Mind you I started counting halfway in, as a way to keep myself calm and not scream back, so surely it was more than 67 times. But for the sake of transparency, 67 times. 67 times I listened to him yell ‘mama’ and bang on the bathroom door. While I stood under the hot water drowning in my tears because I couldn’t bear the sound of his voice anymore and I had no will to reply”
—Suka Nasrallah on Facebook—
The woman then explained that her reaction came from the fact that she didn’t feel like having a conversation or taking care of anything while she was in the shower since it was a moment to herself that she “desperately” needed.
In addition, she said that the boys had started the screaming at 6:45 that day and that her morning coffee had failed to give her the mood boost she needed, so the situation brought her to the brink of collapse.
“All I wanted was 10 minutes to myself, but clearly that was too much to ask. 67 times that word rang in my ears. This is why mothers are so tired out. This is why we stay awake so late knowing we’re going to regret it in the morning. This is why we are always quick to snap. This is why we are so sensitive. Because we are desensitized”.
—Suka Nasrallah on Facebook—
Nasrallah continued her text by commenting using adjectives on everything she felt about having the pressure to be a good mother, and what society expects of them due to their traditional role.
Often, no attention is paid to the mother’s need for space to develop her individuality, and when she asks for it, she can be accused of not being engaged enough with her family.
“We are numb. We are so beyond worn out. Burnt out. Drained. Struggling. Misunderstood. Being needed all the time is simply draining, and a mother never stops being needed. We have no visible finish line#thisismotherhood”
—Suka Nasrallah en Facebook—
Suka’s story is a vivid reflection of the situation of thousands of mothers around the world. Balancing motherhood and work is always a difficult and exhausting task, so you have to know how to treat these mothers with respect and understand their situation.